Human beings are evolutionarily primed to form teams. Our species has always survived in groups, so the drive to form communities is built into our DNA. Research has also shown that when presented with a problem to fix or a puzzle to solve, we will join forces quickly with someone we may not like and develop a surprisingly strong sense of loyalty to them and to our “team.” 

We will set aside many beliefs, values and preferences, in order to fit into a group. We will work against our own best interests if that’s what is demanded by the leaders of our group. Homo sapiens doesn’t thrive alone: like wolves, we are pack animals and the urge to fit into a pack is primal. It is visceral.

We have known for decades that it’s problematic to discuss politics in an “us vs. them” framework. Journalists have been told that covering elections as though they were games to be won or lost, rather than focusing on the policies candidates support or oppose, triggers underlying biases and fear in voters.

It’s no surprise that political parties lean heavily on “us vs. them” metaphors. When people feel they are part of a team and there is a clearly defined opponent working against them, they will go to incredible lengths to protect their group. Even loved ones, if they side with the opposition, will be sacrificed.

There has been clinical research tracking the rise of partisanship in the United States. In particular, there was a research report published in 2014 called “Fear and Loathing across Party Lines” that said, “Partisans now discriminate against their adversaries to a degree that exceeds discrimination based on race…Today, partisan prejudice even exceeds racial hostility in implicit association tests that measure how quickly people subconsciously associate groups (Blacks, Democrats) with traits (wonderful, awful).”

In other words, we are now more partisan than we are racist, and we are pretty racist.

As a journalist, I will never tell people how to vote. My job is to present the news and the evidence in as clear and comprehensible a manner possible. There is no way to interpret the current state of the electorate without concluding that I’m failing in this work, as are most of my colleagues. 

It shocks me to know how woefully misinformed voters are. People still believe China will pay for higher tariffs because that’s what Donald Trump said, even though it is American companies that pay them and generally pass those costs onto consumers. There is no debate: Trump’s tariffs will raise costs for Americans, not lower them.

Donald Trump won’t bring a compassionate end to the war in Gaza. Again, this is not debatable. He has said he is Israel’s best friend and Palestinians have expressed their terror of what may happen under a second Trump administration with one human rights activist in Gaza saying, “We don’t expect anything positive from Trump. His decisions are unpredictable, but he often ignores Palestinian voices.” If you support Israel’s military action in Gaza, then Trump was the right choice. If you wanted to use your vote to support the people of Gaza, experts say voting for him was not the way to do that.

Admittedly, it was never about logic. It was never about saying the right thing. Biden’s use of the word “garbage” to describe Trump supporters didn’t make any difference. I know this because Trump and his surrogates have said much worse things about Latinos, immigrants, women, African Americans, and others, and many of them voted for him anyway.

On one level, there was no correct strategy, no right or wrong way to run a presidential campaign in 2024. As a country, we have decided to make our political parties our identities and to demonize those on the opposing team. Some of the deepest and most primal of our urges have been triggered and nothing anyone said could be heard above that ancient imperative.

One of the implicit biases that drove people to the polls was clearly sexism. In the 2020 Global Gender Gap Report, the US ranked 53rd for gender equality, below Rwanda, Latvia, Namibia, Costa Rica and the Philippines. Below Mexico, Colombia, Moldova, Cuba, Burundi, Lithuania, Serbia, Bolivia, Zimbabwe, Bangladesh and Panama. We like to think that we are the greatest country in the world, but if you’re an American woman, that is not necessarily true.

Harris’ campaign, analyzed in light of the treatment Hillary Clinton received in 2016, is proof positive that the United States is sexist to a debilitating degree. We tolerate and normalize an unacceptable level of misogyny. We allow business leaders to make excuses when they choose not to hire or promote women, and we do the same when voters say they’re “okay voting for a woman, but not this one.”

Everyone, regardless of which candidate you chose, should see this election as a wake-up call. Your dislike for female leaders, your criticism of their work, your tendency to promote the work of men as “brilliant” and look for flaws in women’s work, is very likely a byproduct of unconscious bias. A recent study found that about 76% of high-performing women get negative feedback from their leaders, compared to only 2% of similar men. We must no longer accept this as par for the course or unchangeable, and I include myself in this warning.

When I was doing research for my book on sexism, called “You’re Cute When You’re Mad,” I took both Implicit Association Tests (IATs) related to gender and discovered, to my horror, that my results suggested “a strong automatic association for Male with Career and Female with Family.” On a conscious level, I am a passionate feminist; on a subconscious level, I’ve been influenced by all the misogynistic messages in society, and I’ve soaked up the sexism.

Sexism is damaging our economy and our national security. It is not just killing women and forcing our children into poverty; it is also harming men. Research has shown that men who “conformed strongly to masculine norms tended to have poorer mental health.” Linda Scott, author of The Double X Economy, says economic sexism is destroying the world and is happy to provide skeptics with “the data that demonstrates the causal relationship between women’s economic disadvantages and some of humanity’s biggest problems.” Just as racism has been proven to shorten the lifespan of whites, sexism threatens everyone’s safety and wellbeing, not just women.

So, the work ahead is about becoming intolerant of sexism in every aspect of our lives and to disentangle our identities from our politics. As an unaffiliated voter, I can say from experience that I have no desire to see the Republicans or Democrats “win” anything. What’s important to me isn’t bragging that my guy won, it’s knowing I’ve done what I can to protect my family, my neighbors, and every human in this nation. Strangers I’ve never met, who disagree with me on issues like abortion and immigration, are still a higher priority to me than how much power one party has in Washington.

Politicians are more manipulative than cult leaders in the 21st century, demanding a higher level of unquestioning loyalty than Catholic priests in the Middle Ages. Politicians are not your friends. They work for you, or they should.

One last thing: people are desperate in the United States, and desperate people make decisions out of fear, not logic. This applies to nearly all of us, regardless of political party or voting record. The U.S. has the highest income inequality of all developed nations, meaning there are a few obscenely wealthy people and millions of poor people. A startling 92% of us can’t cover a $400 emergency expense. We owe at least $220 billion in medical debt, our healthcare is more expensive than almost all other nations’, and medical debt is the leading cause of bankruptcy.

In order to funnel billions of dollars into the pockets of a very few people, our country had to empty the pockets of tens of millions. People are hurting. We are also one of the most overworked developed nations, putting in about 140 hours more than Japanese workers every year, 260 more than Brits, and 400 more than Germans.

So, we’re working incredible hours for very little pay, losing our healthcare when we lose our jobs, and we’ve allowed politicians to whittle away at the social safety net to the point where losing our jobs means losing just about everything. If we have anything in common, it’s that we’re all hanging on to security and safety with our fingernails, knowing that a financial disaster in America can quickly become homelessness.

After peaking in 2014, life expectancy has fallen for years in the U.S.. One doctor was asked what was causing people to die younger and he said, “Despair.” Reporting on the phenomenon in The Washington Post said, “America is increasingly a country of haves and have-notes, measured not just by bank accounts and property values but also by vital signs and grave markers. Dying prematurely, The Post found, has become the most telling measure of the nation’s growing inequality.” Americans are stressed, tired and desperate, and mountains of research demonstrates that stress leads people to make risky decisions. 

If we take anything away from the voting results this year, I hope it’s not related to which political party made missteps or who won and lost. In every election, it is the American people who either win or lose. Instead, I hope we see that politics is not a sport and your representatives in Washington are not on your team. People who vote differently from you are not on an opposing team.

You didn’t hurt “Democrats” with your vote from Trump or insult “Republicans” by supporting Harris. You made a decision that affects PEOPLE. Just people who are struggling just like you are, who are doing the best they can.

I can’t tell you what will happen over the next four years, but I can say this: if life is tough for you, it’s also tough for your neighbors. Our political strategies up to now haven’t made things easier. Why not try something new? Try voting for policies, not parties. Try recognizing sexism whenever it arises (no board or panel or executive team should be majority male) and calling it out.

Regardless of what they promise, politicians don’t consult public opinion when voting on bills. You probably can’t influence them, unless you’re very, very wealthy. What you can influence is your family, your friends, your workplace. They are more important than any candidate. Put your needs, and their needs, first. That’s what would really make America great.